Diary Entry 6 – Puns & Roses (Appetite for Destruction)
I started out real humble on these hills and valleys
But man, this echo chamber lifestyle is really getting to me
It’s funny, I used to love rooting for the underdog
But now that I have a successful startup and a new fund
I feel like going all Jim Cramer on y’all and turning into a BOBblehead
Don’t get me wrong, I still love to take it easy
But in a creepy way like Lux Lethor’s son
And I still listen to “Hello” when I am down
But not Adele’s version, the NWA one
Somewhere along this notorious journey, I lost my ARC Angel
And my big mac attitude is the new flavor in ya ear: I’m just lovin’ it
Bubble so hard every VC wanna fund me
Scissored the burn rate then flipped the rules from paper to Rock
I have the most stylish signature move in the game, John Hancock
I’ve become so good at it that I can freestyle my way to any round
And my money would still work overtime even if I lef’ the court
Subliminal Ventures is an army, budder than the Navy
We love to push VCs over the edge and leave a rose on the cliff
Our fund is armed and dangerous, ain’t too many can hang with us
Matter of fact, I just added the ultimate weapon to my startup studio:
Meta World Peace and Bob The Baller will form the perfect duo
He’s making his first mark as a battle born VC
And I’ll successfully privatize him like my alter ego
Bubble so hard, this shit crazy
And you should know that old shit don’t faze me:
My burn rate could go up to a billi, I’d look at you like this shit gravy
Word on the street is that I sold my soul to hang out with celebrities
Shit, I don’t need any of them cause my capital is more decent than Jason’s
And when they text me on WhatsApp, I left them hang on double-check
Cause they used to play me like ducks and drakes
And my moonshots had them flex like a wet noodle
But now that I make big bucks like Drake
They all want my name besides an X like Google
My fund should be called Hill VC cause I’m such a hotshot in the Valley
I crush returns like guacamole, making Rich and Drew scream Holly Moley
H to the I.L., L to the VC
That’s the new ant theme, get your Jing raised up
Forget King Kong, even Melania ain’t got nothing on this bro
She robbed Michelle Obama like oh, I rob Black rappers like Whoa
The dudes that I left a chapter behind keep asking why I flipped the game
H to the I.L., L to the VC
I don’t even feel guilty about it, y’all got to feel me
And I drink virgin coladas with Richard Branson at campout parties
I’m like an English EXPAT without the tea:
So sophisticated yet I stay interesting
H to the IL, L to the VC
What else can I say about that burn rate? I got busy.