Diary Entry 8 – Animal Cruelty
Some of my lines are so subliminal even I get confused sometimes
That’s the problem with dudes like us in the Valley
We don’t even know what the fuck we are saying
We are all guilty of being psyched about weird-looking animals
Everybody gets an F, Oprah Gunguam Style
I swear, today’s startups are the stupidest thing on the block
And VCs like me are unapologetically guilty of stirring the pot
Throwing dumb money at dumb ponies
Until their faces grow something funny
My crew and me fund atrocities like we got immunity
Believe the hype about V to the C we bomb atomically
Those ruckus philosophies and hyped pot thesis
Can’t define how we be dropping these many seeds
Financially perform armed robbery
Speak in tongues so gibberish, live a life so bubbly
I inspect CB through my insights to seed the Millennials
Then lead an A and sell for $50B, 60 possible
The crystal ball is lightning up, open my eyes to a massacre
I’ll stay ruthless and real shady in the aftermath of Chris Sacca
if auto bots start pushing out pink bubble gum
I’ll get mine the fast way, VC mask way
Throwing dumb money at dumb ponies
Until their faces start looking funny
It’s the same old story for all those inflated donkeys
We love beating dead horses until their heads get funky
And you know how funky donkeys always get that free pass
That’s why everybody in the Valley loves being an ass
But when that ponzy stock pulls a doggy on us and starts going south
We drop it like it’s hot before John Olson runs his mouth
They make it hard to dump the bad apple and net a gain
Having ADD dudes pull R&D jobs on P&D yet again
The IRS is acting up with all those rules in the borough
We just can’t wait 30 more days to do a buyback and get the dough
If these washes happened like a month ago
How’s a VC supposed to move on?